Animal Companions
I knew before I even graduated my death doula training, that I wanted to somehow work with pets and their families. This is where I had the most experience around death - I had countless chickens, dogs, guinea pigs, rabbits and hamsters growing up, and they all died. Whenever I welcome a new beloved animal into my life, I do so knowing that I will most likely outlive them. Yet we continue to give all our love, hearts and souls to these little (or BIG) beings over and over and over again.
Before I even heard the term “death doula,” I had a dog. A little baby yorkie, called Chili, that had been given to me when I was just 10 years old. We grew up together and he was truly my best friend and my baby. For 15 years, I couldn’t think about his death without weeping… so I just didn’t think about. And when he died, I thought the earth had swallowed me. I was devastated.
So, many years later, when I heard about death doulas and what they do, I thought, “I wish I had that when Chili was dying.” “I wish I had that support… someone to tell me my options and encourage me to plan for, or at least think about, his death before it happened.” I think all families and their beloved companions deserve to have a little more peace of mind when it comes to end-of-life.
One of the most transformative things I can offer a family and their dying pet, is a safe and compassionate space to talk about death. It’s in these open conversations that we can take ‘death’ out of the locked box we put it in, and look at it in the light. Then, we naturally begin to see that it’s not so scary as we thought. We realize that we can handle thinking about it and we DO have the strength to plan, to process, and to let death show us how precious life is.
I’m definitely not saying it’s easy. I will never say that losing a beloved pet will be easy. But we can find some ease, comfort and healing for all involved, when we have the courage to turn and investigate what scares us most.